1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
Here is a video clip I've just watched, shared by a friend in Facebook. It is about a girl who had dated a guy for 10 months before he met with an accident that left him brain damaged and unable to fend for himself. Earlier, he had plans to marry her. So despite his condition, she got married to him. See true love in action: http://www.godvine.com/The-Story-of-Ian-and-Larissa-Shows-Unbelievable-True-Love-1518.html
Think: is true love only to be demonstrated by extreme adversity? I don't think so. IF the man in the video had fully recovered from his accident, I bet that the woman would still be demonstrating true love to her man, simply because she is capable of such love. The video would not have been made then. And somewhere in the world, this one couple would be living a life of unbelievable true love.
Most of us are fortunate enough not to be put through such a test. Yet without this difficult test, many already fail before sitting for the "exam"! Paraphrasing 1 Cor 13:4-7 in the negative, this is what is happening in many of today's failed or frail marriages:
Non-true love is impatient, non-true love is unkind. It envies, it boasts, it is proud. It dishonors others, it is self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps records of wrongs.
(You don't need to marry a quadriplegic to show true love to the one you marry!)
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How true, YM! As human beings, it seems we frequently see the point in other people's situations, but we totally miss seeing exactly the same point in our own situations.
You certainly do not need to marry a quadrilplegic to demonstrate true love. All you need to do is try your level best to live up to your own marriage vows. True love is putting the other person first and seeing their perspective. True love is not being hypocritical or inconsistent in the way you behave towards your fellow human beings, incuding your spouse. True love is not taking your spouse for granted, or taking advantage of your spouse's tendency to overlook your faults.
In my view, the really important question that should be asked is not "does a marriage exist?" or even "how long has a marriage lasted?". To me, a more important question should be "is a marriage as good as it can be?" Plenty of couples stay together, and are faithful, over many years. But many spouses never once pause and reflect on whether they are doing all they possibly could to make the relationship as good as it could be. I think this is what you might have been hinting at when you referred to "frail" marriages?
Christ said it is not easy to follow Him. How true! It is relatively easy to learn about Christ, and even learn His words. But it is infinitely more difficult to LIVE His words in our everyday lives. Some people spend years studying Christ's words and they end up being very knowledgeable about Christ. But this does not mean they are good Christians. It is one thing to say that we have read the Bible all the way through - perhaps even multiple times. But what good has this reading and study done us? Has it made a difference in the way we live our lives? Sadly, for many of us the answer is "no". For many of us, Christ is only on our lips and rarely in our hearts. One can truly begin to understand what Christ meant when He said not everyone who calls "Lord, Lord" will enter the kingdom of heaven.
Those who carry unforgiveness in their hearts are especially at risk here. Maybe we would do well to recall one particular line in the Lord's Prayer "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who tresspass against." Most people think when we say these words we are asking God to forgive us our sins. But I think most people are mistaken. A better interpretation is that we are asking God to treat us in exactly the same way that we treat other people - forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive others. In other words, if we are generous in our forgiving then we are asking God to be similarly generous with us. But if we are reluctant to forgive, then we are asking God to show similar reluctance towards us. This makes perfect sense. After all, how can we expect God to give us what we ourselves are not prepared to give? Asking for God's forgiveness seems the height of hypocrisy when we refuse to forgive other people
I believe the essence of true love is forgiveness, and that if more people realised this, there would be more GOOD marriages in existence, and far fewer "frail" marriages. God bless you, YM.
(John Lourens, Melbourne, Australia)
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