I saw this article in The Age Newspaper dated 13 March 2012, written by Jenna Price. As my blog is broadcasted to my children, my nephew and my nieces, I have decided to produce an excerpt here. Hopefully they will learn something that will be useful in their future.
(Quote)
These are what we need to avoid if we are to stay married happily and Gottman describes these characteristics as the ''four horsemen of the apocalypse''.
Top one: personal criticism. It begins with phrases such as ''you always'' or ''you never'' or ''why are you such and such?''.
Two: insults, mockery, name-calling. Gottman calls it contempt.
Three: defensiveness, warding off attacks, making excuses, complaining in response to an attack
Four: stonewalling - not responding to criticism, going for the silent treatment, muttering.
To be honest, I'm surprised any of us stay married or in relationships because it's almost impossible to avoid any or all of these at some time. But the point is not to make them the only way you deal with conflict. Or even the enduring way you deal with conflict.
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Paying a high price to retire
The subject title is from an article that appeared in The Age on 22 Jan 2011. The link is: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/paying-a-high-price-to-retire-20110121-1a02v.html
About 5.5% of over-65's live in retirement villages, just to give you an idea of the extent of this industry in Australia. This article reveals something many of us would consider an outrageous scam. Like many scams in Australia, the perpetrators cover themselves well by inserting unsuspecting clauses in small print, buried under heaps of paper. On the surface, they are acting legally.
I will not summarize the above article here. You'll have to read for yourself. The entire article is interesting and relevant. Just to prick your curiosity, think about losing control of your investment in a retirement home, while the company milks you for its worth. You cannot opt out without paying exorbitant exit fees. Even if you are careful enough to buy into a good retirement village, you can be subjected to new and unfair conditions when the retirement village is bought over by another company. Read the article for yourself and be forewarned.
About 5.5% of over-65's live in retirement villages, just to give you an idea of the extent of this industry in Australia. This article reveals something many of us would consider an outrageous scam. Like many scams in Australia, the perpetrators cover themselves well by inserting unsuspecting clauses in small print, buried under heaps of paper. On the surface, they are acting legally.
I will not summarize the above article here. You'll have to read for yourself. The entire article is interesting and relevant. Just to prick your curiosity, think about losing control of your investment in a retirement home, while the company milks you for its worth. You cannot opt out without paying exorbitant exit fees. Even if you are careful enough to buy into a good retirement village, you can be subjected to new and unfair conditions when the retirement village is bought over by another company. Read the article for yourself and be forewarned.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Stabbing death of Indian man in Footscray
A young Indian, 21-year Nitin Garg, has just been stabbed to death in West Footscray. Naturally there's an outpouring of feelings from the public, with India quickly condemning the killing as being racially motivated. This premature conclusion is justifiably so, yet we now know that on the same night another non-Indian was also admitted to the same hospital with 6 stab wounds.
I think we should all pause and think of our own unspoken reaction to this incident. Do we see this just as a piece of news and it has nothing to do with our lives? Or do we judge that the killer should be given benefit of the doubt and thereby we opt for political correctness in reserving our "judgment"? Or do we take sides with the racial discrimination debate, while ignoring the fact that the victim's chest had been sliced open and the wound runs from his abdomen to his heart?
Somewhere in Nitin Garg's home in India, a family's life has been irreparably shattered. The grief of his parents cannot be fathomed, except by one who has lost a child before. Emptiness fills the home that once looked forward to his return, and now painfully dreads the coming back of his remains. I am sure if we put ourselves in the shoes of his loved ones, no matter what our initial reaction to the killing may be, deep in our heart we are all human and we have compassion for one another.
I think we should all pause and think of our own unspoken reaction to this incident. Do we see this just as a piece of news and it has nothing to do with our lives? Or do we judge that the killer should be given benefit of the doubt and thereby we opt for political correctness in reserving our "judgment"? Or do we take sides with the racial discrimination debate, while ignoring the fact that the victim's chest had been sliced open and the wound runs from his abdomen to his heart?
Somewhere in Nitin Garg's home in India, a family's life has been irreparably shattered. The grief of his parents cannot be fathomed, except by one who has lost a child before. Emptiness fills the home that once looked forward to his return, and now painfully dreads the coming back of his remains. I am sure if we put ourselves in the shoes of his loved ones, no matter what our initial reaction to the killing may be, deep in our heart we are all human and we have compassion for one another.
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